Comfort for the Day

– 6 – Regrets Relief Anxiety Guilt Fear Loss of emotional control Anger Hostility Socially awkward Acceptance Hopeful Reconciliation Healthy Grieving After loss everyone grieves. Our loss will affect us for the remainder of our lives. The question we need to ask ourselves is: Do I want this grief to leave me less of a person or help me become better? If you were to injure your arm, either with a broken bone or torn rotator cuff, would you get medical attention? Of course! You would even endure additional pain to set the bone so your arm could be functional again. Going to physical therapy after a rotator cuff surgery would also be painful, but you would choose to do it because you know it is part of the healing process so your arm could regain its usefulness. When we suffer with a broken heart, it is often hidden from others. Our culture suggests that we just “get on with our lives.” There is little encouragement to attend to the pain and even less encouragement to accept there will be pain as our broken heart goes through its healing process. Healing broken hearts doesn’t happen automatically, just like healing a broken bone doesn’t happen unattended. We call healthy grieving, grief work. It is demonstrated when we admit we need to grieve and that grief work is difficult, but it is the very thing needed to heal. “The only cure for grief is to grieve.” Earl Grollman Grief ’s Staircase The grief work process is very much like climbing stairs. Imagine yourself climbing one of the world’s famous stairways, some as short a 100 steps and others 3700 steps long. While climbing, you might observe others treading slowly, some more rapidly, and still others taking several steps at a time. When it comes to grief, do not allow yourself to compare your grief to another’s.